While the whole world felt like it was closing in and stopped at the same time for the pandemic, it gave me a break. I know it’s strange to think that one of the worst times in history allowed an individual to be in any sorts of good spirits in the moment, but the year prior was quite mentally draining for me personally. It allowed me to step back for a moment from the business of life and sort my thoughts out I was avoiding. Living on autopilot for the past year due to personal reasons, it gave me the chance to hibernate and hide from the world for a bit. My social anxiety was on high the year before, so it truly gave my nervous system a break momentarily to process emotions I’ve been keeping pent up.
The first time we heard about Covid-19 and the effects it was having on the world Ryerson sent us home and said we would be back soon. We all thought it would be two weeks, which actually turned into two-years, and I graduated during the pandemic. One of my stressors was school so allowing me to take it at my own pace helped immensely. It’s strange to have such positive feelings during a time of crisis because it makes you feel selfish. This was one of the worse times for a lot of people in their lives. The emotions definitely see-sawed over the next few months.
That being said, the news had to be shut off because the cases made our family anxious. My mother who works in health care was terrified she would catch the virus which ended up happening. Having to comfort her from the hotel balcony was hard to watch because of how affectionate she is and it broke her heart not being able to be near us. The healthcare workers during that time were truly the most underpaid and unappreciated people.
They still are.
Over the few months of being opened then locked down the emotional rollercoaster continued but all in all the whole experience made me more grateful for my life and the people in it.
Just going outside now I have to remind myself that this wasn’t a privilege we always had.
Chantelle Cruzat-Whervin