My life reeks of depression. Depression is found within my abode and resides deep in my temple. It is found in the meekness of my tone and the dragging of my voice, the cheerfulness of my chosen dialect and the high pitch of my inflection. Beyond the visage of my smile and behind the window to my soul where it is obvious, I am struggling. And I truly do struggle. When depression reaches out and infects all aspects of my life what option am I really left with? Very few… But they are just enough. They are the perfect amount. You learn this after battling with depression for so long. You learn your depression and you adapt to accommodate it, you nurture it with love and patience rather than misery and mistreatment. And you continue to fail. Time and time again. But you become oh so much wiser and more capable every time you overcome these necessary failures. So, while depression takes residence in my decision to continue my education or the choice to communicate with my loved ones despite how my brain tells me they feel about me; and it lives in the agreement between myself and I to show up for her everyday as well as the deal we’ve made to ensure we evolve into the girl I’ve always dreamed of being… While these things are exceptionally difficult to do in my state and induce a lot of misery and feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, and worthlessness within me, they also strive for me to be better. To force me to take myself out of the melancholic hellscape and try. Try to do something different. Try to do something challenging. Try do something towards my dreams and becoming my highest self. It forced me to try to do anything and succeed… in which I can then see that I do not deserve this constant state of mind and it can be overcome. It can be conquered and behind that victory is who I am. -Adeijah